The analog music project

Every since i got my first synthesizer, waayyy back in the 1980's I have wanted to know what makes them tick.  Now that i am involved in music again in a somewhat meaningful way, I really, really want to build my own.

Having a somewhat of a grasp on basic electronics I have recently set out to figure out how to do that.

Turns out it is not so easy.  There is not website, that I have found so far that one can just log onto and and wa-la  this is how you build a synthesizer from scratch.  It is like there are all these little scraps of information lying around that have to be assembled into some kind of coherent structure.

Balance

Interesting how the pendulum of change is ever swinging. It has been a long time since I have had anything meaningful to do with music. In fact I was sick of it, done. Just as I was sick of teaching. However, a hook always remained in my soul, occasionally tugged on by people have been dear to me for a long, long time.

During our time in Phoenix, a few musical things came out, in slow erratic and tortured, tiny advances.

The video below was one of the better examples...it was actually a complimentary effort with the disciplines I was learning at MMI. It was the first time I had truly embraced the ideas of Kenny Werner and his "Effortless Mastery" techniques. Although simple in technique the piece was worked through slowly and carefully and with something burning to be said. Listening to it a year later is has, for me, power and meaning.

But I digress, as I was saying the last few years I have been obsessed with motorcycles and travel and writing and once again fame. Now, working long hours at Santa Fe BMW Motorcycles I feel my life being absorbed by a life I am finding less and less attractive.

After two years of the agony of cognitive dissonance between exactly what course of action to take, i.e. travel writing or music.  With limited time available it seems like I can pursue only one in addition to my work duties.

It seems, however, that the time has come to pursue music once again after all.   I am guided in in this preliminary assessment by the evidence that a tiny bit of energy put forward in the direction of music recently (See previous post) has brought some more opportunities.  Getting ready for this next opportunity has taken most of my energy for the last few days, including most of my precious weekend and I am already feeling on the edge of burnout.   This new enthusiasm for music is therefore fragile and requires me to proceed with balance.

Not my strongest suit, but I will keep you posted

Dipping into Santa Fe

One week has rolled uncomfortably into another since we arrive here in Santa Fe in September. That has been what, 10 months now and I have been working, pretty much without relief at Santa Fe BMW. Over the last two years I have tortured myself relentlessly, trying to rebuild the past.

Most notably the torture has been between being a travel writer and a musician. God I have so much baggage with being a musician.

Jumping ahead, yesterday I went down to El Farol which is having a blues jam, to sign up for tonights jam. Yet it was so crowded and we were on the motorcycle that I could not bring myself to the issue of parking and going inside. FEAR----

And I am still fearful, I still want to go tonight, but I fear the unknown. What if I can't park, what if I can't play, do I need my own equipment? How long have I been our to circulation?

I am getting a strong feeling that music is something I should pursue.

Also found the ugly side of Santa Fe Tourism yesterday on Canyon road and was very repulsed and intimidated by it. God those horrible tourist trollies...Ugh!


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Went to the jam, had some good players in the band and found the well-heeled-aging Santa Fe hippie crowd. Also met up with some of the motorcycle wanna be yuppies who come into shop.
Anyway, that is another story.

Actually felt pretty relaxed sitting in the back of the room with Patti may love and adventure partner. Trying to breath in and out evenly and remember my Kenny Werner lessons.

Interesting how I responded under pressure...not pressure so much because I was actually pretty relaxed, but progress from my old habits...not so much.  Have not internalized my Effortless Mastery lessons too well?

Back to the drawing board...or really back to the meditation room